I started this blog because I left Boston to live and work in London for a while, and I wanted to stay in touch with family and friends. I'm back now, but still have plenty of opinions on world news, politics, the media and the absolute craziness that comes from dealing with people. Bring it.

18 May 2006

Work Definitions

Every company has its own shorthand for things. Some of it is official, and some of it is unofficially used by groups of people within the company to make all the craziness of the workplace a little less daunting/scary/annoying/upsetting/ insane. Below, I share some that my colleagues and I use to lighten up the day.

Skin Suit
Definition: a creepy dude that makes all the women around him uncomfortable, bringing to mind the crazy criminal in the movie Silence of the Lambs who kidnaps women to skin them and wear their epidermis as a suit.
A group of colleagues and I call this one particular dude at work "Skin Suit" because he is universally acknowledged to creep all the women in our company out. He always stares at us, says vaguely inappropriate things, but not innapropriate enough to actually do anything about it, and just generally makes us feel uncomfortable. In my experience, every woman I know at work cringes when he walks by. We use this name to kind of make ourselves laugh and to make him a little less creepy.

The Penske File
Definition: A notebook or file folder you carry around to make it look like you are on the way to a meeting, when really you are going to your friend's office to hang out.
Named after a Seinfeld episode in which George Costanza takes a job and doesn't know what he is supposed to be doing, so he just keeps talking about this file, the Penske File is useless. But it makes everything you do look really important, just by carrying it around. One of my colleagues has a red file folder to serve as his Penske File -- it really stands out and it looks really important, standing out from the usual manila ones everyone else carries around.

The Phox
Definition: The hottest guy at work. (in the interest of full disclosure, not everyone agrees with my, I mean THE, assessment that he is the hottest, yet the name is universal.)

No explanation needed, really. Just wanted to note that when used in written form, for example in IM, it is spelled with a PH, not an F. In some cases, even, colleagues (ok, I) have been known to say that this guy "puts the PH in Phox."

Member of C's Club
Definition: An anti-semite

Named after a colleague (who's first name begins with the letter "C") who once accused me of belonging to a mythical "Jew Club" that gets all sorts of privileges, my colleagues and I call anyone who makes any anti-Semitic remarks, which btw, happens more than you would think, "A member of C's Club." I'll use it in a sentence -- "so-and-so was complaining that so many people were out of the office over Passover. I think he/she is a member of C's club."

Feel free to share any "unofficial lingo" from your job in the comments section.


At 10:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

G_d has forsaken the Israeli people. In every other war Israel has been in since 1948 G_d has blessed the Isreali people with miracles to themyou win, but not this war.


I believe it's because of the tolerance that has been seen in Israel for homosexuality, BSDM, and other immoral behavior.

Chronicles 24:20
New International Version (NIV)

20 Then the Spirit of G_d came upon Zechariah son of Jehoiada the priest. He stood before the people and said, "This is what G_d says: 'Why do you disobey the LORD's commands? You will not prosper. Because you have forsaken the LORD, he has forsaken you.'

At 12:42 AM, Blogger Jack's Shack said...

I believe it's because of the tolerance that has been seen in Israel for homosexuality, BSDM, and other immoral behavior.

Notice how the wack jobs are always anonymous.

Liked the list of definitions.

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